Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Unedited Version

Mix of emotions sad and happy all at once. Its a feeling though its weird as well.Knowing and yet confused its something else. Difficult to express although knowing fully well this is what I want. this is what I wanna do. What is one to do when all these opposite forces resonates deep withn one's soul at the same time. What is one to do.Knowing very well that of all these its all because our knowledge is limited.
We only know in part and that part that we don't know we worry much of it. Why does not one just live with what they know, why should one wanna know what they wont know. Confused is n't it! confusion at its peak. Something purposeful to do burns in one 's heart but the realities of life rips it apart that u cant ignore the so called facts of life. Some confusion of mind indeed.

Should one just continue doing whatvever they've been doing?Continue you should especially if you cannot afford the realities of time out, some time to figure yourself out. One should not even get to the point where one's soul is lost in the toil of everyday life.One should not sell out their soul. It only catch up with you later on.

God seems to know better that the Just shall live by faith. SOmeone said being courageous is doing something anyway with that fear in ur heart resonating like it might just take you down.A friend like to say"I'm doing it nervous". The bible says God's perfect love cast out fear.Courage is a word that sound heroic ...

This one quote today said" Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is aquite voice at the end of the day saying .. :"I ll try again tomorrow"
I also still say sometimes its just to say I cant take this no more.. tHis one I know from personal experience that it takes courage to say NO THANKS.Especially if u've been a hero, lifesaver to so many. Its difficult that suddenly u wont be the hero anymore.

It hink its better to be the HERO that one is proud of when by urself. That when u are by urself, u know that u r okay, that u re not just impressing- u re not doing an act. U r being urself. There's nothing as beautiful as doing stuff and doing pretty well that this is from deep within and that just you.

One need to then know who they are!Who they really are, what make them who they are, what makes them tick and what make them cross.......................TO BE CONTINUED

In Memory of Zimasa

" Dont look down at the woman with 4 kids, no husband, living in an income based housing struggling to keep her lights on. We always think the grass is greener on the other side, money alone does not make you happy, good credit doesnt keep you satisfied, physical beauty doesnt make you less insecure, fame doesnt make you less vulnerable or cause you to be a good judge of character and being stuck up and mean doesnt keep you warm at night or prevent you from being lonely.
You dont know how the woman sitting right next to you could have carefully put on he rmake up this morning to hide the beating from last night. The teacher to whom you handed your child over this morning could have sent her children off to school from a dark house with empty bellies.The teller you just got rude with at the bank could know that today is her last day at her job and have no idea how she's going to survive past next weekend.
The woman at the office that appears so busy could be typing her goodbyes to all the people she loves because she plans to commit suicide tonight after she tucks her babies to bed.The woman you pass in the hallway could be on her way to have an abortion becuase she fears what others might think.
We spent so much time trying to be as strong and hard as we are expected to be that we end up cracking from the inside out piece by piece. if we would spend a 1/3 of the time building someone up instead of tearing each other down, encourage someone, show someone love some love,we could truly make a difference and save someone's life.
Dont be the straw that breaks another woman's back. There is someone out there or where you are, that need your smile,your hug, your support, your prayer. let someone know that you believe they are somebody special and if need be you are available to listen. Sometimes is all one needs, someone to listen."
When I read this message earlier today, it reminded me of Zimasa, a lady I worked with in my previous job. She didnt really have much but she was filled with hope. She has always trusted that God will change her stituation for the better. When Zimasa did not smile, you  knew that  something is terribly wrong. She was not one of those who lost their cool with everyone becuase they are having a bad day.I think she understood Paul in the Bible when he said:"I have learned what is it to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation;whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all these through Him who give me strength.Philipians 4:12-13"
After a long battle with disease, she passed on last weekend. She has left four children behind. My prayer is that they will all find family that would  love them like their mother did. They will live enriched life and will even have much more than they ever had or imagine.
The email I read came at a time when I was thinking what I have learned from her life. I have learned that it does not matter how much you have or dont have, you can choose to respond positively in each and every situation. I have learned that I must appreciate the things I have and see them as blessings.
I also pray that may God help that when I see a God moment, I shouldnt look away and if there is something I could do about it. Even if it is just to say a prayer, do something.
She will be dearly missed.