Monday, 10 February 2014

Dear Lost Magdee

Dear Lost me, Thank you for teaching me that yes being lost is real and it does happen. I appreciate the pain, the tears, the unnecessary anger misdirected at wrong people. Thank you for helping me grow. It has been through knowing you that I now Know I cannot be found until I admit I am lost. I am grateful that today I know I need God, I need His grace to find me. I accept that I am not as smart as I would like to be. Thank you for keeping me human, for directing me to a place of desperation, on my knees, pleading to my rescuer with every inch of my being. I would forever stand, kneel in awe of this amazing Grace, How He found me, it didn’t matter what shape, state of mind, emotional being. He loved me back to the real me. I have learned that fear is as stubborn as death, it makes whispers so deep, they paralyse within, through the darkest nights of sleepless nights. It whispers hopelessness, failure, impossible, it whispers I’m scared, I am afraid, I cannot do this, I can’t push forward. Dear Lost me, Thank you for teaching me that shame is never an agent of change, that as long as I hold onto God, I will always be found, that there is hope for the real me Yours sincerely, Magdee